When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

I look into their eyes and see my soul.  I look at each feature and see the bits of me. I listen to their dreams and remember my own, long forgotten.  I see the innocence, the trust, the pride, the unconditional love.  They need me to be strong, they need me to be whole, they need me to be happy, they need me to be me.  My life is in my children.  They complete me.  

Allison and her quiet strength.  She has the heart of a warrior intertwined with a romantic.  You look into her eyes and see the wisdom, the knowledge.  She’s instinctive in so many things beyond her years while still being my sweet goofy girl that I love to tease. She is simply stunning.  She has grown from my chubby little “Dizzy Gillespie” to a gorgeous girl that makes me worry about the boys. She is funny.  She is smart.  She is my Alliecat.  

My only son, my handsome boy, Luke.  He is hilarious, kind, loving, compassionate.  He feels other’s pain, he strives to please.  He wants nothing more than to make the people he loves, happy and proud. He loves to play, he loves to draw, he loves to make up stories.  He is so imaginative and clever.  He makes me laugh daily.  He has my dad’s broken chin and my father in law’s grin.  He is the spring in my step. He is my Lukey.

My sweet baby girl, Grace.  She is the most like me.  She is sassy and strong, opinionated and vocal.  She is fiercely protective and loyal.  She is black and white, wrong and right, there is no grey and she will tell you all the reasons why.  She loves quickly and deeply, just like her mom.  She is drawn to people and attaches herself to them until they realize that she needs to be in their circle…and she won’t take no for an answer.  She is funny.  She is incredibly quick with logic and learning.  She has an understanding of concepts that surprise me regularly; she rarely has to be explained things more than once.  She is my miracle, she is the light in my eye.  She is my Gracie Girl.

My whole life I dreamed of being a mother.  They are my job, my answered prayer, my job and my reason for living.  I want to be the best mom I can be.  I need to be present, they deserve my loving attention, my comfort, my love, my strength. Everything I do in this life has them at the beginning, middle and end.  Although I falter, I am not perfect, I yell and get frustrated, freak out and lose my temper.  But these children know i love them.  I will spend the rest of my life trying to make amends for my mistakes, my choices that affect them, my falters that confuse them.  I will love them with my last breath and cherish them in every moment.

This is my pledge.  This is my promise.  In the end, I do everything I do, for them.

So, I have a new friend and she’s turned me on to reading my horoscope.  She has some amazing stories where she followed the advice of this particular writer and doing so actually changed her life.  Gave me goosebumps!!  So I got the website address and read mine.  I gotta tell ya, i was immediately hooked!  Even if this first week wasn’t necessarily life altering for me, it does make me think and perhaps will move me forward in a way I wasn’t headed before.  I think it’s smart to get direction from many places in this life…I’m just now figuring that out unfortunately. I especially enjoyed the bumper sticker section at the end.  We all could stand to follow some of that advice.  

Anyway, I’m sharing with you all who read this!  It’s good.  Go read yours! :P

http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/allsigns.html

“Dear Rob: I was born on November 30, and am quite attached to having it as a birthdate. But there’s a complication. While in Iraq in 2006, I was half-blown up by a bomb, and had a near-death experience. When I returned from my excursion to the land of the dead, I felt I’d been born anew. Which is why I now also celebrate September 24, the date of the bombing, as my second birthday. What do you think? Two-Way Tamara.” Dear Two-Way: I believe we’d all benefit from having at least one dramatic rebirth in the course of our lives, though hopefully not in such a wrenching fashion as yours. In fact, a fresh rebirth every few years or so would be quite healthy. If it means adding additional astrological identities to our repertoire, so much the better. Thanks for bringing up the subject, as it’s an excellent time for Sagittarians everywhere to seek out an exhilarating renewal. 

Take inventory of the extent that “No” dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. “That’s not right.” 2. “I don’t like that.” 3. “I don’t agree with that.” 4. “They don’t like me.” 5. “I’m not very good.” 6. “That should be different from what it is.” For help in retraining yourself to say “Yes!” at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT 
The bumper sticker I saw said, “Having abandoned my search for the truth, I’m now looking for a good fantasy.” Though it’s meant to be sarcastic, it’s a useful piece of advice. 

Consider this hypothesis: The truth is so complicated and ever-shifting that it’s impossible to pin down. Why try to understand the nature of reality when it’s more productive and interesting to aggressively create the nature of reality? Why be preoccupied with conjuring up concepts to approximate the structure of the universe when the point is that we change everything we observe merely by looking at it? 

This is the question no parent or grandparent ever wants to hear from a child.  My child has asked this question.

A few weeks ago I posted a link on my facebook page for a Lifetime Network special movie; Five.  It’s been sitting in my DVR since it aired.  I would scroll past it several times a day, hesitate and move on, KNOWING it was going to make me cry.  I HATE crying movies.  With a passion.  Like…really.  But today I was feeling it.  Literally within the first 10 minutes I was sobbing.  Not just teary with a pretty little hanky dabbing the corner of my eye but full on “ugly cry”.  It is an amazing film broken into five sections; five different directors, five different leading ladies, five different stories of breast cancer.  Each story was connected and the same, but so blaringly different.  It was so…raw.  I’ve never watched a movie that exuded so much pure, raw emotion.  I saw my mom (Charlotte), my sister (Lily), myself (Pearl).  It occurred to me that the statistics are one of my close family and friends, at LEAST one of us, will be stricken.  Frightening.

Several scenes in this film hit me harder than perhaps some of you because my own families trial with cancer is so recent.  I can close my eyes and put myself back in that hospital so easily…I don’t…but I could if I wanted to.  One particular line would have dropped me to my knees had I been standing, “Is my mommy going to die?”  How do you look into the eyes of an innocent baby girl and answer that question?  I thank God every day that it was my mom that was faced with that dilema and not me.  I’m sure I would have gotten through it, but with as scarred as I am simply from knowing she asked I cannot imagine how it would have affected me to look in her big green eyes and have to answer.  We weren’t sure at that time.  We knew God would lead us through it, we knew we would all be fine in the end, but we did not KNOW if her daddy was going to die.  But with the certainty of a child, the trusting nature and innocent strength we believed he would, so on that day, for my mom, it was an easy question to answer.  She had God guiding her, no question.  She eased my daughters heart and in that, her own.  She did not tell me this story until after Mark was well into remission.  God bless her for knowing what I could and could not handle in those days.  I don’t know how I would have gotten through that battle without my parents.  They were simply…there.  100%.  Every single day.  They took care of our kids as if they were born to them and it never even occurred to any of us that things could be any other way.  They rearranged their home, their schedules, their lives.  How can you possibly thank someone for such a selfless gift?  In all those lonely nights, those sleepless hours hearing machines beeping, my Beloved struggling to breathe, the scurry of nurses right outside the door, the call of emergencies to other rooms, the constant thought and worry about what was to come; not once did I worry about my babies.  NOT ONCE.  I missed them like crazy, yes.  But never worried.  

What a gift.

I will reiterate what I said in my facebook post:  I think every woman should watch that movie.  I think every man who loves a woman should watch that movie.  It was probably one of the hardest films I’ve ever sat through but it was good.  So good.  Incredibly good.  I love that there are stories being shared, that our lives can feel more manageable, our problems less scary knowing that others have fought the same battles and made it through.  I hope that in sharing OUR story (you can find our entire story at www.bagsbunch.blogspot.com beginning in February of 2009) someone will find comfort in peace in our miraculous ending; health, happiness and a new appreciation and understanding of this precious life.  My daughter’s daddy did not die.  I think about that at least once every…single…day, no joke, and I always remember to thank my Lord for second chances, lessons learned, and families strengthened.  And when my man leaves his dirty socks on the floor…well I smile and thank God for that too.  (usually.)

I always say I live my life with no regret.  I’ve learned from everything I’ve done, everything that has been done to me.  Every triumph, every trial, every blessing, every fall, together they have all formed the woman I am today.  I am stronger because of battles, more compassionate because of the pain endured; and inflicted, less volatile because of the damage I’ve caused exploding over unnecessary things and watching the consequences unfold.  Even still, with all I’ve learned through this flawed personality, there are things I would love to be able to tell my 15 year old self. Things I vow to try to teach my children.  Things I will continually strive to follow myself for the remaining years of my life.

Slow down.  Take each day as it comes and enjoy the gifts God has given you.  Don’t rush through this life, through these experiences.  Enjoy them, learn from them, relish in them.

Spend more times with friends.  Boyfriends are great, but built strong relationships with your girlfriends.  Go shopping, to movies, have slumber parties and spa days.  Make time for each other and laugh.  The bonds you make when you’re young can be everlasting if you tend to them and never again in your whole life will you be able to dedicate so much time to building them.  Take advantage of it.

Relax.  Don’t take everything so personally, so seriously. Realize that every other person also thinks the world revolves around them!  Share the spotlight and let someone else take the reins.  Don’t be so controlling of everything and everyone in your life.  

Be nice. It takes so much more energy to be nasty, so much more time to be vengeful.  It’s unnecessary.  It’s cruel.  Don’t play games with other people’s hearts or minds.  Be careful with their feelings, be forthright with your own.  Cherish the people who love you and accept it at face value.  Return that love equally and enjoy the precious moments you have with them because more than likely it will not last.  But it is so beautiful while you have it.  

Be forgiving.  Don’t hold a grudge.  It hurts them, but in the end you will suffer as well.  It’s okay to get mad, it’s okay to feel whatever it is you feel, but learn to get over things and know that everyone makes mistakes, everyone falters, everyone does and says things they want to be able to take back.  When they apologize, accept it, forgive them and move on.  Even if they are no longer in your life because of it, you will be free of that burden. It’s never worth hanging onto.  Ever.

Apologize.  Don’t ever let a wrongdoing on your part fester in the soul of another.  If you are wrong, admit it.  Own it, validate them, apologize and mean it.  Then don’t do it again.  Learn from your mistakes and allow others to as well.

Protect your heart.  Don’t put your trust in the hands of someone that will abuse it.  True love is not cruel, disrespectful, frightening or painful. You should never fear for your safety, should never wonder if you’re being lied to. True love will never try to tear you away from your family and friends.  True love will never discourage you from your dreams, talk down to you, or make you feel like nothing.  Listen to the people you love and trust even if you don’t see the bad things they may be seeing; listen and pay attention and protect your heart.

When you love, do so with everything you have.  Don’t hold back.  Don’t be scared to open up.  Even if the relationship doesn’t last forever (and most do not) the love you share with others will live on in your heart for the rest of your life.  Have no regrets of what you should have said, should have done, should have revealed…just do it and let God work it out for you in the end.

If it’s over, LET it be over.  We all know when our bonds are strong and right, and when they start to falter and fade.  Letting go doesn’t mean you’re weak or a bad person.  When you’ve done all you can to make it work and it still isn’t, it’s OKAY to release yourself.  Hanging onto a bad situation only causes more pain and heartache for everyone involved.  Walk away with no anger, regret or resentment.

Build a relationship with God early on.  Learn all you can about Him, read the Bible, ask questions, fellowship with other believers your age and explore all the possibilities of this life He has given you.  Trust in Him.  Pray every day.  Listen to your gut because that is God whispering to you.

Go to college.  Not maybe, not next year, not when you have more money…go as soon as you graduate high school and don’t screw it up.  Study hard, get through it as fast as you can and enjoy every experience.  You can’t have all that you’ve ever dreamed without a college education.

I don’t REGRET anything in my life.  I would never wish to go back in time and have a do over.  Even with everything that has happened to me I wouldn’t.  I do think back to the people I have hurt along the way.  I do think I could have handled situations better, done things differently; maybe I would still have some of them in my life today, but I can’t regret it because the lessons I learned from making those mistakes have truly made me a better woman, friend, wife and mother.  I’m not that girl now.  I never will be again.  I LIKE who I am now.  I love my strength, my honesty, my confidence.  I love to think back on the rocky path, see the tumbles and the missteps.  See the blood, sweat and tears.  I can hold my head high today knowing that I have learned so much, and yet realize I have so much more to learn.  

I stand before you, outstretched arms, here for every call.

Although I know you always stand, I’ll still be your soft place to fall. 

If and when here comes the day that sorrow starts to sneak,

When suddenly, without warning, it drops you to your knees.

Do you hear me whispering to you?

Do you feel my heart break in two?

I’m there with you through every fear.

Though you can’t feel my touch, or rest your head, I taste your every tear.

The brave and strong, the hard and sure, tried, tested and true.

The selfless lives of those who serve; His strength is always you.

Today begins another time of endless sacrifice,

For him, for you, for innocents, few can see the price.

Day to day you’ll count down the hours with slightly baited breath

Finding peace in the little things is something you do best.

Crippling and crushing pain creeps silently to you

A raging storm beats down your door, tearing through your core.

Memories seep from the walls, laughter, love and play.

Happiness and sense of peace fading every day.

Passing through lost time and a broken promise to see the other side,

A silver lining shines through the fog and brings with it your smile.

The beacon of you burns hot and true, the darkness loses hold.

It’s dawn that comes and lights your eyes, your spirit’s warmth too bold.

Through thick and thin I’m always here to hold, to cheer, to be.

When you can’t bare it, when you can’t breathe, please give it all to me.

My strength, my rock, my voice at times when I simply cannot speak,

You’ve always had my back,

My turn now to take the weight and pick up where you may lack.

I’m sorry seems so meaningless, I’m here, just not enough,

I love you, true but still not right, no words can comfort through the night.

I know your heart, I know your soul, I know your head strong ways.

I know your world will keep on spinning, I know you’ll fill your days.

You are unlike any other, your strength is unsurpassed.

But on that day you slip and falter, draw from mine to last.

Writing has always been therapeutic for me.  I haven’t used it consistently since I was in high school; I have several journals from my youth.  It’s a shame really because I ALWAYS feel better after I vent and it seems those who read my stuff usually get something from it too.  Bonus.  However if you’re offended by my jottings I do apologize…not that I wrote it, but that you took it wrong. I’m a very forthright person.  Those that know me well, know THAT well.  If I have issue with you, it comes from me to you.  If I’m writing here and you wonder if it’s you…it’s not.  To quote one of my favorite movies; “If I am speaking to you, you’ll know it because I will look at you.”  I’m pretty simple in that way.  Known as a bitch to many because I often don’t know how to hold my tongue when maybe I should.  Although, I have to say, I AM getting better with only letting myself get worked up about stuff that really matters.  There’s less and less that I truly care about the older I get.  That’s sad in a way, but it’s also freeing. I remember when my mom turned 40 she called it “Freedom of the 40’s”.  I think I’ve been more free with my feelings my whole life than she has in the last 20 years, and am actually having the opposite affect; I explode less and keep my mouth shut over shit that doesn’t matter.  In the end, I have five people to worry about and that’s where I draw any line in the sand.  Regarding anything. Period.  

I’ve had some pretty crappy lessons in my life.  I’ve been shit on more than I’d like to admit, I’ve been used, disrespected, lied to…the list goes on and on.  I’m sure this is the same as many of your stories…we all have our chains to bare, we all have our problems.  But dammit this is MY blog so therefore my issues are worse than anyone elses!!  Hehe totally kidding.

It occurred to me recently that I have an amazing core of people in my life. My parents are undeniably the best people and roll models I’ve ever known.  Hands down. I married my best friend who has been my strength for so many years, and with a little training he’s become pretty handy too! :P  I do not have many friends.  True friends. The kind of friend that knows me inside and out, can finish my sentences, knows my deepest fears, understands me.  And ya know what…I’m totally cool with that. So I’ve decided because I am blessed to have this amazing core that I don’t think a lot of people have, I am given other struggles, other tests when dealing with people.  I’ve always had a giving heart.  An ACCEPTING heart.  I try to be non judgmental cuz who the hell am I to judge? I give people the benefit of the doubt, I am generous and kind. <sigh>  Good thing I know how to toot my own horn!  My mom told me once that people expect others to be how they, themselves are.  So yes, perhaps my expectations simply start too high and people can never measure up.  It’s a flaw.  I admit that.  But you know what?  I’d rather expect a lot out of people and be disappointed but not be dragged down by less than.  I don’t WANT people who can’t have these basics as part of their life goal to be in my life.  So I guess it’s an easy way to weed them out.

Ouch.  See.  I AM a bitch.

Is it truly anger I feel in my heart, as I look back on our season.

Or is it pain, masked in hate? More sensible a reason.

I erase your time a bit more every day, Move this, move that, color on the walls

I hate this space, I want it back. To my soul it daily calls.

A lesson yet unlearned, questions still arise.

The plan for me still quite unsure, much to my surprise.

So little time has passed and yet, the days I cannot count.

So much to say, so little time. My part, I must account.

Pressures I must have laid on you. You could not measure up.

I saw what I dreamed to see. The strength was quite corrupt.

In my heart, all fault is yours. I must admit that now.

To heal, move on, set forth new paths, I must admit that now.

All intentions pure and right, my love was tried and true.

I only hoped a better life for little man and you.

Do you ever think of me? Do you have regret?

Do you wish things set in motion, had helped you as I’d meant?

I think of you, more than I care. Pray for you less than I should.

I wonder when your memory will not destroy my mood.

I’ve always said it takes much love, much passion to really hate.

I didn’t think my forgiving nature would wane in life this late.

It’s that, I think, that’s worst for me, the changes in myself.

The compassion’s less, the eye less sure, the faith left on a shelf.

Every day I look to the sky, hoping for a sign.

Waiting for relief to come, waiting to move on.

I want the pain to leave my heart, I want the peace to come.

I want to shed the guilt I feel, before I come undone.

So disrespected, so used, disgraced.

I gave so much of myself and my life…what a waste.

I have tried so hard to wish you well, to let go and just move on.

I’ve prayed more times than I can count.  Hatred still not gone.

Suffering of family and friends, keeps me hanging on,

For explanations that simply will not come.

Blame on you for my darkened heart, for future lessened chord,

Shame on you for taking from me, innocence and more.

Day by day, over and over, I relive your harsh reality,

Wondering again, time after time, will I always be so angry?

Three friends married women from different parts of the world…..

The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better.  By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Oregon.  He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.  He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.. He still has some difficulty when he pees..

Got this in email from my Mom. Made me cry. I am guilty of this very thing from time to time with my OWN children.  Messages like this are sad and humbling but only a fool thinks to themselves ‘This isn’t meant for me, it doesn’t apply.’  We are all guilty of this in one way or another.  Think about it.  God Bless.  ~Becky

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag’s side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.

The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting,

‘What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That’s a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?’ The young boy was apologetic. ‘Please, mister…please, I’m sorry but I didn’t know what else to do,’ He pleaded. ‘I threw the brick because no one else would stop…’ With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. ‘It’s my brother, ‘he said ‘He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can’t lift him up.’

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, ‘Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He’s hurt and he’s too heavy for me.’

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat… He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. ‘Thank you and may God bless you,’ the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home…

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: ‘Don’t go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!’

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don’t have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It’s our choice to listen or not.